Sunday, January 1, 2012

Happy New Year's To Me

I am not making any New Year's resolutions this year. 

Why, you ask me - why am I not participating in the New Year's spirit like everyone else?  Because I know that I'm incapable of holding to any resolutions I might make. 

I could resolve to blog everyday...but I know I'll fail to do it one day and that'll blow the whole thing.

I could resolve not to bite my nails...but I know that the first time I'm really stressed out or upset my nails will be back in mouth, drenched in Amber slobber.

I could resolve not to eat gluten (my mom is gluten intolerant)...but invariably I will break down at dinner somewhere and end up stuffing a roll in my mouth.

I appreciate the concept of making resolutions, of wanting to break bad habits and start good ones, but I am also realistic about who I am and what I'm capable of.  I don't want to rain on anyone else's parade.  If you're a good resolution keeper then by all means do it...but I'm just tired of feeling guilty about the things I can't control.

So I eat my fingers, so I don't exercise as much as I should or eat as well as I ought to...that doesn't mean I should kick the crap outta myself.  We are just as much our failures and flaws as we are our successes...and, frankly, I don't think there's anything wrong with celebrating our mess-ups a little bit.

This year I am not resolving to do anything.  Instead I am going to celebrate my failures and screw ups.  I'm gonna try and learn from them, appreciate them for what they are and study them so I can have a little better insight into myself.

On that note:

Here's to the six Rum and Pineapple drinks I had last night.

Here's to the two hours of hardcore vomiting I did last night.

Here's to the insight I had into myself because of the drinking and vomiting.

And, finally...

Here's to what I learned from the whole lovely experience: Don't f*cking drink so much, idiot.


  1. You have discovered the cure to hangovers. Don't drink alcohol. Let me know how this works. This is only in the test stage, yet we think this shows promise.

  2. Oh Amber, You are my Hero.

  3. I think that we, as a society, should decide that New Year's resolutions are just not that big a deal anymore. Most people only make them because they feel like they should without an actual desire to change. If we made it less of a deal, then only the people who really cared and were more likely to follow through would make them, and everyone would be happier.

    I am the same way about my nails, btw, I leave them alone most of the time and then I stress out and it's all out the window. I've pretty much made peace with it.

  4. Awww, I hope you at least had someone to hold your hair:( I resolved not to make ANY resolutions and I succeeded already!

  5. I love that u have no problem admitting u bite ur nails. Long time habbitt of mine that will not be broken. Love the blog!

  6. I never do the resolution thing--mostly because I couldn't figure out why on New Year's more than any other day? As a result, I have one life's resolution, and one moral imperative.

    Life resolution: Strive to be better now than you were before, and accept that failure is a lesson to be learned, not an excuse.

    The moral imperative: Be good to others; try to not be afraid.

    Those two things see me through pretty much all of life's vicissitudes.

  7. Oh mighty porcelion throne...I know you so well.

  8. Honestly, I never make resolutions because I forget to. I'll be talking to someone and we'll be talking about New Year, and they'll be like, "So what's your New Year's resolution?" and I'll be like, "Uh..."

    On another note, you kinda made a resolution to not make a resolution ever.

  9. I also believe that we are an accumulation of our successes and failures. I would not be who I am today if not for the horribly bad decisions that I have made in the past. While I accept my obvious defects, I also strive to better myself. Not by making resolutions once a year but by reminding myself daily to be the best that I can be and to spread a little light in this world. I fail often, but I am only human. Perfection is boring anyway and imperfection is beautiful. On a side note, I stopped drinking large amounts of alcohol years ago when I passed out in the entryway of my aunt's home and she had to step over me to go to work...good times:)

  10. I love you, seriously. The fact that you decided to not only think that through but post it is freaking fantastic.

  11. Joe aka AmberaddictJanuary 1, 2012 at 3:40 PM

    Amber I thought was who hates new year's resolutions but I'm not alone it seems. I could makes excuses but the truth is every year I seem to lack the will power to make them happen. That one the many thinngs I admire about you you don't just talk you things happen e.g. you wanted to make a film so went and made it happen! I could list your talents for hours but the thing that sets you apart is dispite is dispite all success you are so down earth and make for people like me! Don't about the small stuff just be the amazing person you are already! I hope 2012 brings you only joy! PS I hope your hang over is getting better I bet drunk Amber rocks too!

  12. Ok, so i started on this a lil over the 100-some character tweet I was able to send.

    Hopefully in spite of the vomiting, you had a good time drinking. But yes...i agree- note to self - don't drink so much huni. LOL. That's ok, over Christmas Eve I drank a bottle of my self. I am not the "christmas person" - and my gf was being shady and I wasn't able to see my daughter - so...drink and drink I did. My sister and I were nicely toasted. LOL.

    I haven't made a New Years Resolution since I was about 17. Because I, like you, know I am incapable of holding up to my end of the bargain. I change things about myself that I want to - when I want to. This past year (well, the later portion of the year) I decided that I was tired of being what everyone told me I should be and started being who I am - point blank. If you love me, you love me, if you hate me - whatever.

    However, since the year I turned 18 I have only had ONE "resolution" - but it's not really a "resolution" per-say. Instead, I feel that I have one "life-motto" that I make sure I renew within myself each year.

    So many people tell me "I regret doing this or I regret not doing that." I decided that I didn't want to be one of those people. So I intend to live life on no regrets.

    Each year we are always presented with "should I or shouldn't I" and in each situation I ask myself "which would I regret?" I encourage you do to the same. It's not about changing our flaws - I believe our perfection is IN our flaws. However, having no regrets means when we are 90 years old, we do not have to say "coulda/shoulda/woulda".

    =) So here's to not making resolutions and being true to yourself! Flaws and all....

    One last note - drink what you may - we all do even though we know the consequences - but please for the love of bananas, do not drive. Though i know you are NOT stupid by any means, I gotta throw it out there. =)

  13. The commedian John Pinette says he doesn't know what gluten is, but apparently it's the stuff they put in food that makes it taste good. :-)

  14. Well, here's a man who hasn't missed a daily blog since November 2002:

    That said, how many people have resolved to write a novel and failed? You could be doing worse...

  15. Lmao hardcore vomiting....ahhh i remember my old party days....happy new year guys and Good luck starting a new year of life and adventure.

  16. I don't do new year's resolutions either. But I do pick a theme for the year. Not necessarily right at the beginning of January, sometimes it takes time to evolve. 2011 was "try something new". And I did. I started playing indoor soccer. Then I started taking yoga classes. I also learned to crochet, memorized some stuff, and learned to make a few new recipes. Nothing huge or world-changing. But all of it has been good. Not sure what the theme will be this year. "Try something new" worked pretty well, maybe I'll just keep doing that.

  17. Ahh, glorious encounters with copious amounts of alcohol, followed closely by not so glorious encounters with the recently digested contents of one's stomach. Fun.

    When they finally invent alcohol that you can drink as much of without getting those oh so wonderful hangovers, then I'll start drinking. At the mean time, I think I'll stick to orange juice. :)

    (Belated) Happy New Years! XD

  18. its strange how people always get their "realisations" AFTER someone has to hold their hair in the nearest bathroom LOL

    happy newyear to you and yours

  19. This post is hilarious and TRUE.

  20. Thanks for this brilliant and lovely snippet "We are just as much our failures and flaws as we are our successes."

    A long-time friend of mine gave me a great compliment last week, telling me how much he looked up to me and how proud he was because I had "made all of the right choices".

    I appreciated his sentiment, but had to laugh, because while I'm currently loving my life, it's taken 34ish years of good, bad and highly questionable choices (in addition to healthy dose of luck) for me to get here. Perseverance is so often mistaken for success :)

    But I've failed far more often than I've succeeded. I just try to fail better each time and not make the same fail again.

    Here's to failing better, stick to 5 rum and pineapple drinks next time m'dear.

    Happy New Year!

  21. Seirously, if you yourself *aren't* gluten-intolerant, it's good for you.

    But yes, a good lesson to learn.

    One of the few advantages of being over 220 (over 280 the past few years,) six drinks, if spaced out over three or more hours, doens't bother me, heck technically I'm still legal after it. DaddyCatALSO

  22. Love everything about this post. I too cannot get into the resolution spirit. I don't like losing (who does?) so why purposefully set myself up to fail? Seems a bit of a no brainer really. I don't know anyone who's actually managed to stick to a resolution for more than a couple of weeks. All I've asked of myself is to be a little healthier, which is not asking much given the constant barrage of pizza and alcohol I've subjected myself to recently. Aim low, avoid disspointment.